Public Tv Presenter Gifts

'Your new identity will be of a public TV fundraiser.. nobody pays any attention to them.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Campaign for Plain English

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

Changing Minds

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

"As some of you may have guessed I got yesterday's sunburn factor wrong!"

Stephen Fry

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

Local News in Heaven

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

Vanna White: The Later Years.

Reporter #6: television.

Next camera crew 5 mins

'And that's how to make pancakes.'

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

"In other news a new study indicates dogs are still better than cats."

Presenter Auditions.

'Double Dannys': Danny Baker and Danny Kelly.

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

Jerry Springer of biblical times.

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

'It's educational TV, Mom — the redheaded girl in the lime-green bikini has a teaching degree.'

The boy who cried Wolf Blitzer,

Television guests' essentials in November.

Jeremy Clarkson.

'On a personal note, I'm pleased to report I've been upgraded from reporter to opinionated loudmouthed pundit.'

Stephen Fry

CELEBRITY NEWS TEAM"Now here's Frank Sinatra with the weather."

Stephen Fry.

The great Tea Bag Scam!

Out of Context Nite with Jeremy Clarkson.

Silly News.

"This is Matt with your five day forecast, on location."