Public Television Pillows

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

'No ice.'

'No standing while room is in motion.'

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

'I know it's gassy...'

'Here comes your own personal weekly beer supply, Joe!'

'Why would anyone order a pint of stoat?'

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

Loch Ness Beer Monster

Joyce could certainly handle her drink!

'Did you hear that? They said 'Hello' to you.'

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

Barman In Love.

'A quick pint or a quiet drink?'

'What happened to your hand.'

JOE'S 'COME ON - YOU KNOW YOU REALLY WANT IT' BAR.

"You're going to regret this in the morning."

"What'll ya have?"

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

'What's wrong with him?' - 'He drank a glass of water by mistake.'

'Avoid the Christmas rush, drink now.

Businessman at a bar mad to look like desk. Bartender says: 'The usual, Mr. B?'

'We are now entering sombre hour, happy hour has finished.'

'He was a barman before he got into the demolition game.'

'Don't you think you've had enough?'

Snow Plow Driver Relaxing at Home.

"Blowing the whistle is perfect for a sports bar to let its patrons know that Happy Hour is over."

'Do not stand while the room is in motion.'

"Heavens above no, I'm not the angel of the Lord. I'm the landlord from the Angel. I wondered if you fancied a pint."

'Please stop crying into your beer - It's watered down enough!'

'As soon as I mention Nietzsche - stop serving me, okay.'

'Rat arsed.'