Public Perception Analyst Pillows

'Perhaps it's time we re-branded.'

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

Others' perceptions (which aren't always true)

'For? Against? Undecided? Uniformed? Apathetic? This is one accurate poll!'

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

"If I'm coming across as shallow, uncaring and egocentric, talk to my image manager."

'The polls say we're managing all of the people all of the time.'

Election Time

What's your stupid opinion on the following...

If students are more than a test score why aren't teachers?

'You say here you're a people person.'

'But how do I know you're really a genetic engineer?'

"Of course, this prediction has a plus or minus margin of error of 80% or 90%."

"Well, I'm offended!"

"But, what if we're attacked in the press?"

"We need to think about raising your profile ..."

"No, actually. 40 is the new 60."

'I prefer 'Baby Boomer' over 'Senior Citizen'.'

"I'm sorry, sir, but this survey does not allow for that opinion."

Frank integrates the modern, poll-driven, finger-in-the-wind brand of politics into his parenting style.

"Go forth and get me a PR consultant."

"So, who won this meeting? I have Jeff in the lead over Erica, by a score of six pointed insults to five."

"My birthday is coming up in a couple of days - don't you think you'd better get busy and take up a collection for my gift?"

"No opinion, eh? Well, I'll put you down as 'lair.'"

'So, how long have you had this delusion that you're a psychiatrist?'