Public Notary Gifts

"Maybe you should go home and get some rest. That's the third time today you'e notarized your tie."

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

'Our union contract keeps us from cutting salaries, but nothing prevents us from charging for parking.'

Snow Plow Driver Relaxing at Home.

Whitehall: Gave honest impartial advice

'The government is telling us to get rid of 43% of meaningless targets within the next 6 months!'

"I didn't get anything I asked for last year so I want your acceptance of this year's list to be notarized."

Policeman giving paramedics a fine.

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

'This isn't an easy business- you have to stoop low and be high-handed at the same time.'

"He just doesn't know what to do with himself since he got elected to Congress."

"Sorry, we only do cats in trees."

"She's always writing in that journal of hers. Maybe she'll be a notary public when she grows up."

'If you're a public servant, what does that make ME?'

'The Senator's afraid he's irked his base. I don't know if he needs political advice or medical attention.'

CONGRESS, 'You know, we wouldn't need a pay hike if we got commissions on our appropriations.'

Put it in writing!

Impatient queue of people. The signs read queue here,sigh heavily from here, and Tut Loudly from here.

'What really stung is when they wanted the Magna Carta notarized!'

"We all know the Senator's position regarding term limits."

"When it comes to balancing the budget, unfortunately he has the minus touch."

"You're positive we don't need these notarized?"

"You're positive we don't need these notarized?"

"Now, there are just a few more forms for you to sign, and then we're done!"

"Normally, ladies and gentlemen of the jury. These closing arguments would be filled with impassioned pleading, determined advocacy and a certain amount of histrionics, but this is a pro bono case."

Crazy Ideas

"Singing cowboy AND notary public"

Man throws his burger wrapper into the trash.

Bureaucrat's Brain

'Yes, I broke that campaign promise, but it was never NOTARIZED!'

The pint of a beer is a legacy from his early days as a pub pianist!

Robert Macaire as a Notary Public

"You've been around here longer than I have. What are 'congressional ethics'?"