Public Defenders Gifts

Will give expert witness testimony for food

'Now that everyone's street is online, we're mapping interiors.'

Insect extinction

"Ha! So much for environmentally friendly behaviour!"

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

"Mr. Miranda....we are using 'schedule 7' to hold you on suspicion of knowing someone who knew someone who was a whistleblower...."

Big business is not evil

"So, when will we be getting the next batch?"

'Hey, get out of my space!'

The world of surveillance.

"My client will not answer that question as it presupposes his sanity."

USA 2030

'You have the right to remain silent and to the counsel of a motivational speaker.'

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

'It drives me crazy when people whine about the collapse of the system!'

"Calls may be monitored because, frankly, we live in a surveillance society due to terrorism."

'This call may be monitored and added to our endless metadata for no apparent reason.'

1 message reviewed by NSA.

'Thank you for calling civil liberties - your call may be recorded...'

"The genius of the justice system for us is that everyone has the right to a lawyer."

'A bit of shush please, I'm about to write them a damn stiff memo!'

Scott Walker keeps his job.

"Unfortunately your Twitter has been hacked. Fortunately it has been hacked by someone much cooler and funnier than you."

Hilda Dinkerbonker takes on the issue of NSA domestic spying...

"My client got twenty years, yet he paid me in full. It just shows the system works."

Your country needs YOUR personal data!

"Oh, can't complain."

"Hi, I'm your court-appointed lawyer-whoa! Don't tell me you've been executed already."

"Bad news - your DNA was delicious."