Press Defender Gifts

Trump's Other Wall

Censorship and Apple Daily

Victor Obran

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

"We've won control of the congress. Our next objective is to win control of the media."

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

"Wow. . . is that you, Mr Erdogan. . . Mr Kim Jong-un. . . Mr Putin. . . Mr Maduro. . . Mr. Bin-Salman. . . Mr al-Assad. . ."

Moses Today. Due to the sensitive nature of this matter, my source wishes to remain anonymous.

Newspaper suicide.

"Here are today's leading factoids, and I'm Skip Shumaker, spoon-feeding them to you!"

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

Free press.

"The enemy of the people!"

'That's the new guy. He writes our 'shuck-and-jive' press releases.'

Freedom of the Press

"There will be a Q&A...but in this era of Trump I will be insulting anyone whose questions I don't like."

Cartoonist Stabbed By Censorship Swords

Quadruple dark hot chocolate. Whoa, everything all right? Sure, yeah, great. I'm a journalist and writer in an era in which the printed word has been totally devalued by free distribution of information on the internet. Can I pay in prose? Point taken.

'Don't give up hope, Senator- We've worked out a plan to decrease your name recognition.'

"I've finished the press statement about the kraken."

Tank. Building this vehicle will create jobs and stimulate growth! He's given new meaning to the phrase "The economy's in the tank"!

The Daily Me

"My client will not answer that question as it presupposes his sanity."

"I'll check your circulation."

'It drives me crazy when people whine about the collapse of the system!'

MI5 Press Office

US Media

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

'You have the right to remain silent and to the counsel of a motivational speaker.'

'No comment for now, but there will be a press leak at four.'

Due to obsessive and intrusive attention by the Media, this news conference will be cancelled

The Hypocritic Oath

'A bit of shush please, I'm about to write them a damn stiff memo!'