Pension Defenders Gifts

Video Games - Tomb Raider, Pension Raider

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

"...Accept finite disappointment, but NEVER LOSE INFINITE HOPE."

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

'Where's the petty cash?'... 'It's in the box marked Pension Fund.'

Help!!! I've been kidnapped - Your Money.

The Choice is Obvious

"The industry has agreed to take the pensions dashboard off our hands. . ."

Worker Rights and the Smoking Ban

"The pension crisis prompted me to consider alternative invstments. Like Roulette."

"You mean to tell me I can only vote against one Congressman?"

Poor & Elderly Carry The Load Of The Iraq War.

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

'As long as the gov't has a printing press, all deposits federally insured.'

Corporate person hood!

'You have the right to remain silent and to the counsel of a motivational speaker.'

"My client will not answer that question as it presupposes his sanity."

'It drives me crazy when people whine about the collapse of the system!'

'This is how our new no-risk pension scheme works.'

Mismanagement Consultant.

'The trouble with electing a man on horseback is that somebody has to clean up after him.'

"The genius of the justice system for us is that everyone has the right to a lawyer."

'A bit of shush please, I'm about to write them a damn stiff memo!'

'Hurry up and enjoy your life as a pensioner! Three.. Two.. One..'

"That wasn't supposed to happen!!"

Voter Suppression

Scott Walker keeps his job.

"My client got twenty years, yet he paid me in full. It just shows the system works."

"Hi, I'm your court-appointed lawyer-whoa! Don't tell me you've been executed already."

'The bad news is you've lived well beyond your expiration date.'

"Bad news - your DNA was delicious."

"As soon as I get the paperwork together I'll file an appeal. Sometimes there are just not enough hours in the day."

"Normally, ladies and gentlemen of the jury. These closing arguments would be filled with impassioned pleading, determined advocacy and a certain amount of histrionics, but this is a pro bono case."

'Oh great, not him. That lawyer is as crooked as them come. We're screwed.'