Public Decency Enthusiast Pillows

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Ethics exam cheater.

Squeezing the Free Press.

Others will fight for you

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

"Moulting"

Only One Item or Fewer.

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

"Hi, Bob - your consultants have just arrived."

"Take special note of the change to our policy on honesty."

Stoneage business ethics: 'But, hey, this 'ethics' stuff isn't carved in stone!'

'Before we begin, please turn off all cell phones.'

'Timmy, stop being naughty: Don't sit up straight!'

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

Tragically Moses didn't see the eleventh commandment.

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

'Now you see, that's EXACTLY what we should try to avoid here.'

'D'you have any salt?'

"All rise."

'I'm sorry, he likes to let off wind after dinner.'

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."