Pub Staff Gifts

Bouncers kicking punters into each other's pubs.

"Stephen and I are today's special."

Counting ribs

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"You owe me five bucks."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

City Boy.

"A pint! I'll need proof, and that's human years, not dog years!"

Beer Stall

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

'I know it's gassy...'

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"Sorry, that's not my table."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

Men's fragrances...

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

"Deep-dish pizza calls for deep-glass beer."

The Reaper's Arms