Pub Perfecter Pillows

"It's the big guy."

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

'On second thought, perhaps it would look better if your hand was tucked into your jacket.'

Elevator Pitch

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

'Are you done yet?'

"Whoa! Was that today?"

'Apparently, wild hopes and dreams, re-enacted by Barbie and Ken, are no substitute for a solid business plan.'

'Here's where you give me non-comprehending nods of approval.'

Personal Cheerleader.

Chick Billiard Ball

'Yo, Danny! The pitcher's complaining about the crowd noise. Turn it down!'

'You've had enough!'

"So you used to be in a darts team?"

"The problem is: reasonable men may differ on what the hell reason is!"

'The shrink said my holiday was hereditary - my family.'

Parson wishing to seem as though he is not drinking

The pint of a beer is a legacy from his early days as a pub pianist!

'They balked our pitch.'

"Here's a nice white wine. Goes great with grooming and hairballs.

"Beats me - I've never dealt with a sovereign debt crisis before."

'Yes, that will work as an elevator pitch...if your potential client works in a skyscraper...'

Saloon Selectives

"Has someone forgotten the cucumber slice and lemon wedge in my spring water again, Edna?"

Oh, stop looking so smug. Like you had anything to do with hitting that bulls-eye.

Dolphin at bar - 'I'm in disguise'

'My idea's quite simple really. Put the money in the bag!'

Sweet. Solid business plan, backed by a three-piece band.

"I thought so Simkins - you're just yawning!"

"Please welcome Big Alcohol."

'Fountain pen'

Flower: 'I wouldn't go in there if i were you Pal. The place is full of Skinheads.'

STRIP *The Fan * Player Transfers