Pub Going Pillows

'Apparently he does 20 yards to the pint.'

'The price of beer must have gone up again.'

Pie chart of pub conversations

Drunk man in the pub.

"Being short has a few advantages, some lassies think I'm a hand puppet."

"This place has the best happy hour."

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

City Boy.

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

"It feels good to unwind..."

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

'I know it's gassy...'

Beers

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

"Have you seen my dad?"

Men's fragrances...

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

You said you wanted beer with hops !

"What other tricks does he need?"

"I forget to drink."

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

"So you're anthropomorphic too? It's a small world."

"You know what they say, time flies when you're having rum!"

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

Barman In Love.

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

Surreal ale

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a bubble like this?"

'No Fred, this one is one me!'