Pub Going Pillows

'Apparently he does 20 yards to the pint.'

'The price of beer must have gone up again.'

Pie chart of pub conversations

Drunk man in the pub.

"Being short has a few advantages, some lassies think I'm a hand puppet."

"This place has the best happy hour."

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

Beers

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"It feels good to unwind..."

City Boy.

'I know it's gassy...'

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

Men's fragrances...

You said you wanted beer with hops !

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

"What other tricks does he need?"

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

"I forget to drink."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"So you're anthropomorphic too? It's a small world."

"You know what they say, time flies when you're having rum!"

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

"Boss, you can't be serious! This can't be paradise. . . there's no football and no pubs!"

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

"Just water for me, please."

Excuse me.. Are you Dog Friendly?