Pub Goer Pillows

"What other tricks does he need?"

"Nine lives is great, but the inheritance tax is what kills you."

' I was thinking of celebrating St. Patrick's day in the old country, but then I remembered... I have no family left over there.'

'What you look at it? You want a piece of me, is that what you want?'

"You gotta multiply dog years by seven, pal."

"Piano Bar"

'Give them lager and sunglasses.'

'Oh, Alright then - one for the road.'

'I don't think much of this topless darts bob'

'He goes without saying - usually to the pub' (woman to marriage counselor)

Scotland Yard - coal heavers singing in a public house

A pot of darts players

Beer serving suggestions

"So, if it's not food colouring, how did you make my bologna sandwich green?"

"So you're anthropomorphic too? It's a small world."

"The days of the bartender-psychologist are over, but I can help if you have any software problems."

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

A planet like ours - pub quiz dolphin

"I may be domesticated but I do have a wild side."

"Yeah? Well, I happen to know that you're not supposed to be in here, either."

"I hardly think a transition team is necessary, Ed, in order to switch from beer to Scotch."

"Got any more popcorn?"

Your Round

REAL ALE for one pint only

"Run for your life - all the lesbians have gone straight!"

"'Frankenstein' is Jewish. I'm Irish on my mother's side because she was green, and an 'O' Houligan'..."

"I love people-watching."

"No offense, but I don't need any new friends."

"I'm one of the best singer-songwriters ever to go into accounting."

Driving Them to Theoretically Drink

Fred's Pub. Tonight: Classical Music Discussion. Ah... Bartok Bartalk!

Don't take it too personally - I just don't want a drink. Bar.

Tuesday is empty thought balloon night.

No caption. (A cowboy heads toward the swinging doors of a saloon as a cat goes toward a smaller version of the same entrance).

"You never used to have to ask for a glass."