Pub Culture Gifts

"Look, maybe you're right, but for the sake of argument let's assume you're wrong and drop it."

"What other tricks does he need?"

"Fetch and roll over weren't enough-then they sent me to philosophy classes."

Is your glass half full or half empty? Who cares, fill her up!

Landlord checking money, Customer checking ale

'Would you say your glass is half empty or half full?' 'Whose round is it?'

'I pick fights when I get drunk.'

'Someone must have called him yellow again.'

The Fighting Irish Setters. . .

Jerry never lost sight of the big pitcher.

'It was a typo - I wrote, 'It was the best of the worst of times!''

How can you tell it's a gay pub?

"Why so downward facing, dog?"

"Do you want a drink or do you need a drink ? We're very busy...."

'He thought the fire alarm was the bell for last orders, and ran towards the bar.'

Dart Training School - "The Right nutrition is vital. I want you on lager and chips until the competition."

'It used to be called 'the Fox and Hounds'.'

"I was grand fathered in from the previous establishment."

Woman pointing at dog with white froth round his mouth - Rabies!! Relax, we're having a pint!

'Name yer poison, gents!'

Kandinsky's bar.

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'Can I get input from the guys at the bar on this one?'

"Customers without designated drivers must be wearing clean underwear."

'No Mr Moss, 'Alcoholic Poisoning' doesn't mean that pork pie you had with your 12 pints of lager was 'a bit iffy'!'

'At the doubles bar.'

Christmas in the Streets.

'I don't think much of this topless darts bob'

"It's approximately the size of 6 football fields...that's 315,900 dartboards to you."

"A thirst for knowledge, …. That was another of my great thirsts."

The origin of storms. (Gods playing 'darts' in a pub with lighting bolts and globe).

'Apparently the locals have over 40 words for snow.'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

'I've got a bit of a drink problem.' 'Me too..there's never enough.'

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"We just weren't compatible.Her body-clock was telling her to settle down and have kids,and mine was telling me that the pub was open."