Psychology Humor Enthusiast Pillows

"This is not going to help my Messianic complex, doctor."

'Look, you can only do so much!'

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

X-ray Psychology.

Pavlov's Puppy

Some scents are nonsense.

Blok drives by New York City.

'...and when the wolves moved house I was adopted by beetles.'

Free-Floating Anxiety

Pavlov's Cat

Regardless children just want to fit in.

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

"My brother is always trying to one-up me. As soon as I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder he said he had tripolar disorder."

Chuck didn't care what his therapist said; that is not where he left his dummy.

Mummy Shrink.

"Tom, let's explore why you feel Andrea's inability to understand 'icing the puck' is passive-aggressive."

"You have got to want to change."

The glass is half full. - '' - 'The glass is half empty' - '' - 'Gah!! No clean glasses!!' - '' -

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

'I blame my parents, they never set me any standards worth rebelling against.'

Receptionist to patient about psychiatrist: 'Dr. Zwecklos canceled all his appointments for this week - he went off the deep end again.'

"I don't just want you to give me a raise, I want you to WANT to give me a raise."

"Adolescence can be a very trying time, Mr. Alcorn."

'This definitely calls for group therapy.'

"You keep everything bottled up inside."

"Do you feel you were loved as a tadpole?"

"Doctor, your client with the multiple personality disorder, is on lines one, two, three and four."

"Enough already! You’re depressing me!"

"Living brings up a lot of issues for him."

'Whatever it is, I didn't do it.'

Coming to a consensus.

'Do you mind if I take the rest of my session to get your input on investor psychology?'

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"Schedule the 'voyeur' and the 'exhibitionist' for the same time. I want them to meet."