Psychologist Appreciation Month Gifts

'The floods, the pestilence, the plagues...don't you think you could find more constructive ways to express your wrath?'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"Staff support"

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

Build Your Own Portfolio

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

"Postwar is hell."

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

'I went to my boss and demanded the fruits of my labor. He gave me a Blackberry.'

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

"One side is for depression, the other is for anxiety, and if you're still confused make an appointment with the cat."

'Would you be interested in attending a stress management seminar?'

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

Team Experiences Cabinet: Productivity, Fun, Goal Setting!

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

"I think it stopped breathing."

"Are you OK hun?"

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

"I go that extra mile!"

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

"I misjudged you Fenton. I thought you were a 'mover and shaker' but all the time you were just bobbing and weaving."

'It's a fake - but all the hanging around the water cooler is down 57%!'

"I like this Carl, you've come up with more solutions than we have problems."