Pseudonym Player Gifts

'The big book is for the 'Smiths'...'

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

Tuning Up for the Air Guitar Competition

'Off hand I'd say she needs re-stuffing.'

'This is your spinal column...It's a bunch of bones that runs up and down your back and keeps your legs from going all the way up to your neck.'

'A boy at school was named after his father. They've called him Dad.'

'Don't bite it. I have to check Daddy next.'

"Jonathan! I've told you not to put your space toys in the freezer and pretend they're on the ice planet!"

"Let's play make-believe. I'll diagnose you with a life-threatening illness, then cure you with a wonder-drug that turns out to be a placebo."

My Spam Sketchbook

'AQ popgun? I want a field model Browning pump chambered for the 3-inch magnum load.'

"I'm playing "Explorer" and looking for the Elephant Cemetery: there should be really big bones there!"

"Take a pill in the morning, in the afternoon and at night."

Kid to sister: 'I never play doctor anymore. There's too much paperwork.'

'Let's play business. I'll be the chairman of the board and you'll work for me and laugh whenever I tell a joke.'

'It's my pseudonym.'

'If you want to get anywhere with girls, you gotta PRETEND to like bunnies, ponies, and kittens.'

'Sweetheart, It's time you knew... Your father isn't a real wildlife biologist.'

Owl

Girl trying to be a woman

'Let's play alternative health provider.'

'I'm not Sandy. I thought you were Sandy.'

"I actually prefer Richard..."

"Sorry, I don't work here."

"I don't think so, Ted!"

"I don't think air guitar counts."

'It's not a great start to his cartooning career...he's got creative block about what to call himself.'

'No, I can't be the horse, YOU have to be the horse!'

'... and then Peter was Mr. McGregor...'

Desperate Househusbands

Sale: Air guitar. As new.

Joel's mum was very strict. . . No homework, no air guitar.