Proud Sibling Pillows

"That's my new baby brother. He's a floor model."

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

At the Museum

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

Boy and Bear and Monster

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

Around the Dogbox in 80 Days.

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

"You're never a superhero in your own backyard."

'Nope. I didn't see any dogfish.'

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

PET THEORIES

"I don't care if you saw this in a western..."

Magnet School. A "magnet school"? Won't that mess up the computers?

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

Bathroom Fairy

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

"Better luck next time, kid."

'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

The Charge of the Kids

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

I think you meant to huff 'n' puff at the next house over.

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

Meow Power Demolition team.

6th Grade Do-You-Own Research Fair

"I don't get it either, but my mom keeps telling me to hang up the phone, so I do it to make her happy."

Fade to black...

'I've been watering myself by taking showers. How come I'm not growing as tall as your plants?'

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'