Proud Non-reader Gifts

'I can't read but I have excellent tv viewing skills.'

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

Letters escape from a caged book.

"I'm still pre-literate."

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

Man reads a book while seated in a loveseat as a cat peers over the seat at him.

'What's the point of a bookmakers if there's nowhere left that sells books?'

'Social and political revolution? Check out our 'Do It Yourself' section.'

"At least she's reading."

'I'm pretty sleepy tonight, Dad - could we just skip ahead to the chase scene?'

'I can't remember the title, but it began, 'Once upon a time'...'

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

"Think about the perks. You learn to read, you get a pre-approved library card!"

"When in the course of human events it becomes... Oh, blast it! Adams is just going to edit the heck out of this..."

'In my opinion the series should have stopped after the first 3 books.'

'Studies show that most boys my age don't like to read. Who am I to tamper with statistics?'

"We used your unsold copies to build a tree, but it's not the same."

Hell's Schlegel

"Poor kid, his parents gave him a book for Christmas."

'Explain to us, son, how gaining nine A levels is uncool and damages your street cred.'

'I'm looking for something not too heavy.'

"He's in first grade. He'll get to Zs."

'All the fourth grade guys took a blood oath not to learn anything during the summer.'

"I have to write a book report for school. . . do you have any books with lots of pictures?"

Kid Reads "The Little Tibetan Book Of The Dead"

"What do you mean you're staying in with a good book?"

"We no longer shelve gay fiction separately. It's been assimilated."

"It's for a young woman in the generation that knows how to read but doesn't feel like it."

I'm here for my training course. - 'Please take a seat' - 'Ah... ten blissful minutes to read the paper in silence.' - '' - 'Did you park in the red bay?' - 'Yes.' - 'Big mistake, 'half pint'. You can't park there.' - 'But...' - 'Move it!!!' - 'Okay, ok

Christian Book Shop has sign saying 'We have Noah's Ark' whilst the Weather Bureau next door has sign saying 'You're gonna need it'.

Baseball is much more interesting now that I've learned to lip-read!

Book Signing. "The Inflation Diet." How does it work? You spend the same amount on food each week and the rest takes care of itself.