Proud Golfer Gifts

"You couldn't just stop and ask directions, could you?"

Butterfly Woman

'Hole in one!!!!'

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

Golf lessons

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

Golfer wears 'How's my driving?' t-shirt.

'I don't care if you do need practice hitting out of the sand. The cat needs her litter box!'

"Watch this! All the balls scattered at random around the table."

'Look honey! I can touch my knees!'

Teacher and students.

'The water hazard holds little fear for Jesus.'

'I wonder why my master never makes it into the Master's Tournament?'

God in the bunker.

The Uncle Vinnie Insomnia Open

'Don't move.'

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

'If he starts early enough, he could be the next Rory Mcilroy.'

Man in artic weather playing sport with snow balls

"How long is this hole!! 540 metres!! I'll need a car to drive that far!!"

"Duh!"

"This is how I'd like to remember the Hamptons - with someone's golf Rolex sticking out of the sand."

"He,he!. . . Some guy on the ninth hole is going crazy looking for this!"

'Stop your complaining it was the only cart left.'

'I know it's your best round ever, but did you really have to enlarge the scorecard that much?'

"A preliminary census report indicates that for the first time in our nation's history female anthropologists out-number male professional golfers."

Flunkey asking for a larger salary and not happy to be compared to a lower order of clergy

Too many beers at lunch?

Brian McMahon's hobby? Being hit by as many pro golfers as possible.

'We're looking for missionaries to cover the golf courses and shopping malls.'

'If you want me to mount you 22-pound bass you've got to let go of it.'

Pest control.

'And that's only the size of the fly.'

TOLD YOU TO TAKE LESSONS FROM GOLF PRO

"I'd rather be golfing...and I am."