Protocol Policeman Gifts

'I'm afraid I can't take you to my leader without a prior appointment.'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

Cat points to the dog who injured him, at a police station.

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

'A willingness to sacrifice yourself to bring 'peace and succor to the suffering' is all very well Mother Theresa but I don't think it makes up for your lack of knowledge of current hand sanitisation protocols.'

"You're not working as a crossing guard now, Brenda."

Limbo Day at the Palace

"Your footage makes us dizzy so we're taking back your body camera, Officer Dancing Traffic Cop."

'We're to spend more time engaging with patients on a more compassionate 'human' level...and here are the guidelines on how to do it!'

"I hear this place is a hotbed of international pancakes."

'You can't come into the clean room looking like that.'

'Eddy Penguin? I'm not sure, officer... Can you desctibe him?'

"Sir, I've been debriefed, deprogrammed and debugged. May I go home now?"

Ten minutes later, the rescue helicopter landed...

To Hell with Protocol, Walk In

Being a stickler for rules, Howard refuses to act until his motion has been seconded.

'God, how I hate bent coppers.'

Flasher's Police Line-up

"I don't get it. How did you know I was going to mug you?"

Christmas Police

Mister Pickle

'You're going to have to trust me on this one, okay?'

"I brake for all Police Cars."

Tape-to-go: Suppliers of red tape

'Not everyone is comfortable with slashing planning bureaucracy.'

'I tried shooing. What's our policy on swatting?'

'I'm your new protocol officer.'

Bureaucrats at Work

'Why, how sweet of you! -- a ticket to what?'

'Can you hang on a sec - I'm on the phone.'

'Merry Christmas.'

Roman soldier in police line up.

'True, I couldn't see my radar gun, but I still believe you were speeding.'