Protein Bar Connoisseur T-Shirts

"Protein bars! Energy drinks!"

"How long have you lived in this gym?"

'Tommy's doing fine. I'm concerned about your poor fund-raising record. You sold only two magazine subscriptions and one measly candy bar.'

'Can you take the lid off this jar for me...?'

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

"First they taught me how to pee on the newspaper. Then they taught me how to fetch it. I reversed the sequence by accident and I've been out here since."

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

Wine at the Bar

"We're not just some tavern, you know. Those Greek olives make us a Taverna."

'I'd like something with a high amount of vegetable protein, a bit of glucose or dextroe for energy, and some fiber.' 'One peanut butter and jelly on toast.'

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

Protein Powder Irony

"I have a protein drink every day for lunch, because I never have to chew."

"Keep in mind that it was put there by the sharks."

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, so we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

Free range cat food - mice running around the store.

No, we don't serve rubbing alcohol.

The Wonder Gym.

Pizza-Fed Beef

Low Carb Dieter Birthdays - diving for meat from the pinata.

Sick Of A Low-Carb Diet

"There's nothing like dog-walking for making new friends...."

'I think I've worked out why they fed us so well.'

"It's the first edition of 'How dogs know what their owners are bringing home for dinner'."

'Stinkin low carb housing.'

I'm sick and tired of this low carb diet.

"Where hard boiled eggs end up."

The Atkins Diet.

Dr Atkins on a date: 'Why does he keep looking at me like I'm a piece of meat?'

'I pity the poor schlub whose job it is to make that call.'

'I thought you were going to build a raft with that driftwood!'

The punishment of a 'SELF MILKER'!

'No whey, Jose!'

"If I were you I'd cut down on the protein supplements."

"I'm sure Mistress meant well: The cat on the box is smiling, but I agree, this tastes and smells horrible..."