Prose Pursuer Gifts

The Fledging Author Struggles To Find His Voice. . .

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

"I'd like to book 10 days going anywhere they've never heard of Brexit."

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

Noise Pollution

'Howard's doing things he's always wanted to with his redundancy money.'

She required plenty of personal space.

"I don't care what anybody says, coffee just tastes better in a tree stand. . ."

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

'Yeah, the radiology job market is really hot right now - it's so hot I think I'm getting third degree burns! I gotta go!'

'As you go through life, always remember that money isn't everything...Health benefits and stock options are also very important.'

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

"Once more, with fury."

'The Karma of the marketplace is about to overwhelm the Dogma of policy making,'

"I'm running away to join the W.N.B.A."

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

The only creation God was truly proud of was the Sabbath

Truthfully, I'm just a frustrated insurance agent …

'Honey. . . I'm ommmmmmmmmmmmmmm.'

Ned's Northingness: All the Nothing You Need To Achieve Mindfulness

The idea of a wo-man cave was looking better and better.

'Frankly I'm all meditated out.'

"The key to happiness is privacy. Hear what I'm sayin'?"

"I thought it was a breakthrough, but it was only a misplace decimal."

'Nobody seems to bother me anymore since I won this.'

Ewe-topia - An imaginary perfect place where Ewes exist, their version of Utopia.

Great. What do I get the man who already HAS nothing? It's a birthday party.

'If I don't like it, I rearrange your face.'

'Bragging at the Old Physicists' & Old Writers' Home.'

"Behold my perfect window of existence, when I'm neither trying to wake up nor falling asleep."

I'm trying to figure out what drives you... A new company car would be nice.