Prose Pioneer Gifts

'Ye gods, Will - art thou still monkeying about with that Ooh-ooh language?'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

One of the Three Little Pigs reaches puberty.

"Wallace couldn't come, but I brought some of his fussy prose."

Poetry repairman

X-RAY

"Actually, I worked my way up from ideas and you can too!"

Writer

Admirable People - No.7. The man who invented writing before anyone could read.

'Mena,the presses are about to roll.' 'But I'm STILL writing my column!!'

"Take away his brilliant prose, and he's just some depressed guy."

"Health officials now confirm the proliferation of a new epidemic they're calling 'way too many memoirs being published.'"

A writer types onto a long sheet of paper.

"Do you ever get to the point where you think if you read another book you'll burst, but you do anyway, and you don't burst?"

Are you printing your own book? No, it's my mailing to agents!

"Stand aside! I'm a doctor of literature!"

News. Editor. Like it? It's a new punctuation mark I invented!

"Shaving off your three whiskers doesn't make you older!"

Writers Block: "Day 24 and still no typewriter!"

Content writers.

Dave wondered how people thought of ideas before the invention of the light bulb.

I really hope the agent likes my submission... - '' - 'This is perfect.' - '' - 'Absolutley perfect.'

Warning: Slippery slope of over-used metaphors ahead (majestic pines, crystal streams, etc.). Writers are advised to take alternate path.

Homeless man's sign: 'Will sell book & movie rights to the story of my downfall for a cool million.'

"The key to a good story is to give the protagonist lots of challenges."

"Well, I didn't get the job, but my resume got an A in creative writing class."

'I understand that the two of you had a rather successful collaboration on our new sex manual!'

'Another day...another blank page taunted him. 'How long can this block go on?' He wondered. 'I don't know,' said the paper.'

'How much older is the guy I'm dating?' Well, he can play solitaire without a computer...'

New Thought Bulb

Nikloay Mihaylovich Karamzin.

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#%* book published. Editor.

Freedom of the Press