Prose Pioneer T-Shirts

'Ye gods, Will - art thou still monkeying about with that Ooh-ooh language?'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

One of the Three Little Pigs reaches puberty.

"Wallace couldn't come, but I brought some of his fussy prose."

"Actually, I worked my way up from ideas and you can too!"

X-RAY

Writer

Poetry repairman

Admirable People - No.7. The man who invented writing before anyone could read.

'Mena,the presses are about to roll.' 'But I'm STILL writing my column!!'

"Do you ever get to the point where you think if you read another book you'll burst, but you do anyway, and you don't burst?"

A writer types onto a long sheet of paper.

"Health officials now confirm the proliferation of a new epidemic they're calling 'way too many memoirs being published.'"

"Take away his brilliant prose, and he's just some depressed guy."

Are you printing your own book? No, it's my mailing to agents!

"Stand aside! I'm a doctor of literature!"

Content writers.

Dave wondered how people thought of ideas before the invention of the light bulb.

"Shaving off your three whiskers doesn't make you older!"

Writers Block: "Day 24 and still no typewriter!"

I really hope the agent likes my submission... - '' - 'This is perfect.' - '' - 'Absolutley perfect.'

Warning: Slippery slope of over-used metaphors ahead (majestic pines, crystal streams, etc.). Writers are advised to take alternate path.

Homeless man's sign: 'Will sell book & movie rights to the story of my downfall for a cool million.'

'I understand that the two of you had a rather successful collaboration on our new sex manual!'

"The key to a good story is to give the protagonist lots of challenges."

"Well, I didn't get the job, but my resume got an A in creative writing class."

'Another day...another blank page taunted him. 'How long can this block go on?' He wondered. 'I don't know,' said the paper.'

'How much older is the guy I'm dating?' Well, he can play solitaire without a computer...'

Freedom of the Press

Nikloay Mihaylovich Karamzin.

New Thought Bulb

"You're lucky. My novel went straight to landfill."