Prose Enthusiast T-Shirts

"I'm starting to get worried. How am I going to be adored, parodied, venerated, denounced, redeemed, and ultimately mythologized if I can't get published?"

"You're lucky. My novel went straight to landfill."

"Meet The Author"

First Novels.

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

The Dorrie Decimal System

Voltaire

"Now I really hate poetry."

'He likes to power nap.'

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Blue Stockings

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

When the world is Mud-luscious - e.e. cummings

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

John Bunyan

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

"Out damn Spot

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

Don Quixote

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

Blue Stockings - Female poet who has not sold any of her books

A woman with a novel and poetry handbag.

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''

Sue the Author 3PM

Emily Dickinson: Mime - "I think she's saying something about death."

"Oh, this old thing?"

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

"The rolling wheels...the ringing bells...signal the deliciousness of summer."