Props Magician T-Shirts

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

Desert Island BBQ

"I can't believe he brought her."

"Steady. This is going to be so sweet."

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

Primitive magician

Noreldo, The Mental Marvel, Reads The Mind Of His Cat, Ned:

If Disney was a software company

"I just need help getting the pit out."

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

Optical Illusion Supply Company.

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

I tried working with Houdini, but he wanted me to escape from a straight-jacket before jumping out of the hat...

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

"Trust me. Don't do it."

"I've decided to add a little magic, so, everyone, say hello to my little friend."

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

Magicians hat being pulled out of a rabbit

Juggler and Illusionist

Magic Tricks

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

Magic Tricks

'It's a common misconception, but it's always been three fishes.'

'I hate frisking magicians!'

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'