Prophet_of_pandemonium Gifts

Man holding sign reading, 'The End is Near' meets pregnant woman wearing a T-shirt saying, 'The Beginning is Near.'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

Smiling businessman with rising profits

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

"Remember that optimistic, slightly crazy, throw a dart at the wall forecast? We beat it."

"Oh, I can't complain"

"I really don't care what yours says. My weather app says rain for 40 days and 40 nights. I think you should probably go with that, Noah."

'This is why we can't have nice things... '

'Now think, Harris, what did you do different on that day?'

The End of the World is postponed from 2000 to 2112.

'I think you'll find these projections somewhat exaggerated, but in a good way.'

"Love your feng shui!"

Perhaps we could get the Saatchis to pain a pretty picture.

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

'Here's the improved margins you said you wanted to see this year, Tom.'

"Graphs are like EKGs, they show the health of a company."

The Speculators

"...and right here in Q2 is where the 'you know what' hit the fan. . ."

"Our accountancy firm says that there are a number of ways to interpret the figures... which one do you prefer?"

Garg saw the future, but didn't quite know what to do with it.

"The short term solution is money and the long term solution more money."

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

Before becoming the legend that he is today, Nostradamus first enjoyed a pretty good living at the tracks.

"I can't decide which I'd rather do- make a twenty-billion-dollar bid of turn down a twenty-billion-dollar bid."

'Of course, for me, Christmas has a deeply felt religious significance! The stock exchange is my church...!

"That's our projected sales."

A self-filling prophecy.

Humble beginnings of the International House of Pancakes

'No doubt the upturn will come soon because the sheet of paper ends here!'

"This is very mysterious. I can't seem to pick up anything at all about you, but I see 'Ivan the Terrible' coming to the Thalia."

"Then it's settled -- our strategy is to hope for better things."

The End is Near/Just the Beginning