Property Poet Pillows

Valentines for Real Estate

"I'll email the landlord."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

Tidy it up for the open house, and it wouldn't hurt to put out some freshly regurgitated worms. For sale.

' I gather you wish to reassign your lease, Higgins.'

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

"Look, son, real estate."

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

An exaggeration of estate agents

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

Mouse real estate!

Home Sweet Second Home.

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

'On the face of it, it sounds great that she left me her house, but it has gone stale and what Hansel and Gretel didn't eat the birds have had a go at.'

The Speculators

'So what if you found it? Whatever it is, it belongs to ME! Now, get off my beach!'

'The owner would have shown you around himself, but he doesn't rise untill after sunset.'

'This is close enough.'

'This place is rather unusually located. Do you folks like sunsets?'

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

"Well, it is a good property. The price is low because it is harder to negotiate due to its S-bend configuration."

'I need to tell Edgar...our house sold for a million two.'

'A great location and only one step from the beach.'

Dog Realtor

'Don't wait too long to decide. A house with a view like this can go at any minute....'

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

"And the bathroom has a water view...if you fill the tub."

'Floodplain close - House on stilts with ladder. Estate Agent saying, 'Welcome onto the property ladder...''