Property Philosophers Pillows

'The meaning of life is loction,location,location.'

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

' I gather you wish to reassign your lease, Higgins.'

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

'For Sale by Neighbor'

Mouse real estate!

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

An exaggeration of estate agents

"This one has nicer sand, but I think I prefer the tree on the last one we saw."

'On the face of it, it sounds great that she left me her house, but it has gone stale and what Hansel and Gretel didn't eat the birds have had a go at.'

The Speculators

'I need to tell Edgar...our house sold for a million two.'

"Well, it is a good property. The price is low because it is harder to negotiate due to its S-bend configuration."

'A great location and only one step from the beach.'

'This place is rather unusually located. Do you folks like sunsets?'

'The owner would have shown you around himself, but he doesn't rise untill after sunset.'

"You've got termites."

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

"And the bathroom has a water view...if you fill the tub."

'Floodplain close - House on stilts with ladder. Estate Agent saying, 'Welcome onto the property ladder...''

UP Again: Housing Prices.

'I need three estimates before I appoint an estate agent.' - 'Right, £120,000, £130,000 and £140,000.'

"Like I told you Gladys: location, location, location."

'Bless. Wayne's made his first affordable home sand estate.'

"Anything in Mr, Rogers' neighborhood?"

For Sale By Owner

"This isn't a fixer upper. It's a down-and-outer."

"For sale £470,000 house included"

"Yes, it's nice, but it's lost twenty per-cent of its value in the past year."

'Don't worry about your daughter Sir: I'll find us a dump to live in...'

"I told you he was a motivated seller.

'A new concept. The inside out house.'

'Like I said - this property is only a stone's throw from the ocean!'