Property Care Gifts

"I'm afraid it looks like a nasty case of rising dry."

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

"I had to skip my workout."

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

"This is your new solar powered dryer?"

"This is why I want you to remember the three most important words in the world: spay, neuter, adopt."

Bathroom Fairy

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

The household cavalry

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

Help! (Woman stuck on washing line).

Timber preservation

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

'Look! It's superwoman...and all her assistants!'

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

"Yes, they come out white than white, but when they went in they were blue."

"They weren't kidding when they said a women's work is never done!"

"Potential buyers of the company are coming through today. Tell everyone to look sharp and put a few bowls of potpourri here and there."

'You wash and I'll dry.'

". . . and wipe your feet before you go inside."