Property Care Gifts

"I'm afraid it looks like a nasty case of rising dry."

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

"I had to skip my workout."

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

Bathroom Fairy

"Have you been using 'Vanish' again?"

But does he dust anything at our home? Noooo

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

"This is your new solar powered dryer?"

"This is why I want you to remember the three most important words in the world: spay, neuter, adopt."

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

Moses unblocking the toilet.

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

The household cavalry

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

I'm organizing the house. Can I help? Do you have any storage bins for stuff we don't use very often? Hold on. I have just the thing! Thanks, mom.

Timber preservation

Help! (Woman stuck on washing line).

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

'Look! It's superwoman...and all her assistants!'

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

"Why do I always gain socks in the wash?" "In a Parallel Universe"

'You wash and I'll dry.'

"Yes, they come out white than white, but when they went in they were blue."

". . . and wipe your feet before you go inside."

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

"Potential buyers of the company are coming through today. Tell everyone to look sharp and put a few bowls of potpourri here and there."