Promotion Procrastinator Gifts

'I can't take the position until I overcome inertia.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

Upward Progress

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

"This next song's from the soundtrack to the film of the book I never got around to writing."

'Ah, Gripes, you want to discuss a raise with me, eh? Come in, sit down, make yourself comfortable!'

The March to the Top

The Graveyard of Past Deadlines

'I prefer to work vicariously as opposed to remotely.'

Working from home to-do list.

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

"Have you ever had one of those days when it would have been easier just to do some work?"

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

In and Out Box

'I'm not lazy - just resting before I get tired...'

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

Al, The Go-From Guy

'Why was I passed over for the C.F.O. position?'

'And along with your promotion you get a key to the executive bedroom.'

'Work's the greatest thing on earth... so I'm saving some up for tomorrow!'

'I want to reach the number one spot at Google.'

"I hate going into a staff meeting without a clear exit strategy."

Invaders from Planet Manava.

'Just a minute Simkins, I have that letter of application for promotion here somewhere...'

"My five least favorite words in the world: By End of the Day Friday!"

The meeting will start a little late, intelligence is lost in the building somewhere.

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

The Procrastinatorium.