Project Perfectionist Gifts

"Installed it himself ??" saved $50."

"Well, I've finished the project on time and on budget!" "That means I've given you too much time and too much money!"

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

'It's bad enough we missed every deadline, but we're the long-range planning committee!'

D.I.Y

Bob the builder - Back in a Couple of Days

"A lowrider bike should reflect the owner's personality."

'Your report is totally without merit. Add a color cover and some clip art then resumit it.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

"You're a genius, Shaw. This is an idea whose copyright has expired."

'I've given a lot of thought to giving some thought to your latest proposal.'

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

Three work boxes: 'IN...LIMBO...OUT': 'I think I've found your bottleneck.'

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

Man and woman buying furniture.

"Our proposal didn't get the grant, but they want us to teach proposal writing."

Perfection

Is it a book? A film? A TV show? How do you mime a podcast?

'Agreed. We fund only those proposals we can understand.'

"Or should it be scrum or kanban???"

"We don't believe in miracles. We rely on them."

'This Power Point slide has a dynamic layout comparing reading scores throughout the district, which you would have seen if I remembered to bring a spare projection bulb.

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

Santa's Out Tray.

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

'I don't want to be a shepherd. I want to be the policeman who interrupts the play to tell all the mummys and daddys who have parked irresponsibly and dangerously outside to move their cars...'

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."