Prognosis Philosopher Gifts

'Your years of smoking like a chimney have taken their toll.'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

Arthur Schopenhauer

Untold Love Stories. The Shadow and Pollyanna. It's no use, Lamont, you know what evil lurks in the hearts of men and I believe there's good in everybody.

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

The glass is half full. - '' - 'The glass is half empty' - '' - 'Gah!! No clean glasses!!' - '' -

The Best Laid Plans

'Let me get this straight: you'll answer three questions, but only three questions? No kidding? Boy, is this my lucky day or what?'

"We apparently exceeded our expectations but, do any of you remember what they were?"

'Well, looking on the bright side, there's only 10 of them.'

"A pessimist thinks that we've already arrived."

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

"Half Empty. Half Empty. Half Empty-"

"If, indeed, there is a reason for all this, than that's so much worse."

"Look on the dark side."

The End is Near art gallery opening.

"Everything in your life has gone smoothly. That's a violation of Murphy's law."

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

"So, Ms. Mayfly. Where do you see yourself in five years?"

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

I'm a bolt, dummy! Does everything look like a nail to you?!

'I feel better today too, but around here I've learned not to be too optimistic.'

'I find it difficult not to entertain the occasional negative thought.'

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

'Bad news I'm afraid...You've got the worst inheritence for a generation.'

'If fate had been kinder, either of us might be living in the White House.'

"What? You were expecting good news? Expectations are so-o-o-o passe."

'Would you say this glass is half empty or half full?'

Everything looks better through rose-tinted glasses.

The Dungeon

That's where we're different. I see the toilet bows half-full, and you see the toilet bowl half-empty.

Must you always be so negative?

'Your glass is half full!'