Prognosis Philosopher Gifts

'Your years of smoking like a chimney have taken their toll.'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

Arthur Schopenhauer

The glass is half full. - '' - 'The glass is half empty' - '' - 'Gah!! No clean glasses!!' - '' -

The Best Laid Plans

'Let me get this straight: you'll answer three questions, but only three questions? No kidding? Boy, is this my lucky day or what?'

"We apparently exceeded our expectations but, do any of you remember what they were?"

'Well, looking on the bright side, there's only 10 of them.'

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

"A pessimist thinks that we've already arrived."

"Half Empty. Half Empty. Half Empty-"

"If, indeed, there is a reason for all this, than that's so much worse."

"Look on the dark side."

"Everything in your life has gone smoothly. That's a violation of Murphy's law."

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

The End is Near art gallery opening.

"So, Ms. Mayfly. Where do you see yourself in five years?"

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

'I feel better today too, but around here I've learned not to be too optimistic.'

'I find it difficult not to entertain the occasional negative thought.'

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

"What? You were expecting good news? Expectations are so-o-o-o passe."

Everything looks better through rose-tinted glasses.

'Bad news I'm afraid...You've got the worst inheritence for a generation.'

'If fate had been kinder, either of us might be living in the White House.'

The Dungeon

'Would you say this glass is half empty or half full?'

Must you always be so negative?

'Your glass is half full!'