Profit Watcher Gifts

"What's healthy about breakfast cereals?"

"I never dreamed I'd ever enjoy watching my figure this much."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

Great Chinese Dynasties

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

'You know the economy's in trouble when the Forbes 400 list of wealthiest Americans only has 350 names on it.'

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

World Economic Crisis.

Economy - USA.

'The government's right. Not counting, food, clothing, energy, shelter, health care, or transportation, inflation is hardly going up.'

"It's called American acceptionalism. We grab more and more of the country's wealth and 99% of Americans just continue to accept it."

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

"Wow - Heavy, man"

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

'The good news is we've finally turned the corner. The bad news is, no government bailout.'

"I thought you said I needed to get some 'extra size'."

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"Okay... how about some people are poverty rich but asset poor?"

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

"And this is where we all gave up."

Depressed Businessman at Office Christmas Party.

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

'Just to let you know the cause of your pain and my advice is Quite Watching Stock Prices Go Up And Down.'