Financial Planner Watcher Gifts

'This IS our retirement plan.'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Great Chinese Dynasties

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'Office' block tightening it's belt

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

Fiscal cliff - US dollar falling over the edge.

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

European currency on the edge.

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

Day trading.

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

Graph Your Relatives!

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

'The government's right. Not counting, food, clothing, energy, shelter, health care, or transportation, inflation is hardly going up.'

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

"For details on the bear market, here's a bear..."

"It's called American acceptionalism. We grab more and more of the country's wealth and 99% of Americans just continue to accept it."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'