Profit Chaser Gifts

Business Partners' vows

"Gentleman, we have a dilemma. Pollution scientists say it'll destroy the ozone - however, Market Research predict it'll sell like hot cakes."

"Right, shall we delay the discussion on customer care again and look at the urgent issue of declining sales and plummeting profits."

I'm calling upstairs for the latest figures.

'Oh sure...That's easy with no overhead.'

"The good news is we'll be dead before our way of life kills us!"

"I'm not a machine, Deborah. I can't just turn my greed on and off."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

'I had a great year and I wasn't even trying.'

Gloat

"Look what I bought at Ofelia's yard sale."

'Good news! It looks as though the $50 million loss we expected to show is going to be a $30 million profit. You know, we should have hired a government accountant as our chief financial officer years ago.'

"Remarkable, but I'd feel so much better about it if we knew what the hell we're doing right."

Elevator buttons read: Way Up/up/Down/Way Down.

"Here's my quarterly report."

'Success is buying your experience cheap...And selling at a profit.'

'Sales, profits and impatience are growing.'

'And this is where we all suddenly started getting bad vibes.'

Counting my Bonus...

"I TOLD you all to sell more stuff and make a huge profit. . . DO I have to micromanage everything!"

"The quarterly results are in. We would like to thank the almighty dollar."

Let's Celebrate

"Do we have a plan 'B'?"

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

"Well, it's not exactly the Chinese who want to take over your company, Mr Van Modder..."

"We can think about getting you a laptop if profits improve."

"That's better!"

The GRAVY TRAIN rolls by.

'But always remember...risking other people's money is the best revenge.'

'Let me guess - you're pleading for profit taking?'

'I spent eleven pounds on my ladder and sold it for thirteen.'

'Liquor will solve this problem, chief!'

'Here's where they added the flat tax.'

"So I sold him six with a 23% profit margin, so what do you think of that!"

'I'm going to refer you to a doctor. You seem to have developed immunity to winning stocks.'