Professional Student Gifts

"You've spent the last 20 years in college. what made you stop hiding from the real world?"

Where your mind & battle are los

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

Robot Parts $5

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Computer Room.

'C'mon get it straight.'

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'

Big Bang Theory.

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

Eternal Student.

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

Burning the midnight oil.

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

Zoology Class. Test Today. What did you get for the question about Fuzzy Wuzzy?

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

Guitarist

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

The Bookworm

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

Historical memory is on life support.

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."