Professionals Gifts

"It was tough at first. Now I hardly ever get the urge to check my e-mail."

"We should decide now whose career will suffer more once I give birth."

"Be right in, I just brought my lucky chair."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

UK/US Free Trade Deal

Others will fight for you

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

"All I can say is thank goodness for teleconferencing."

"Dammit, Johnson. You've got to start thinking outside of the box."

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'