Business Professionals Gifts

"I'll start thinking outside the box when the box is empty."

"Let's never forget that the public's desire for transparency has to be balanced by our need for concealment."

'Would someone please remind me what our original intention was?'

"Agreed then-I won't network you if you don't network me."

"A handshake and a high five - I can't see this merger working."

'I'm exploring another revenue stream.'

"Gentlemen: This is a follow-up on our recent Christmas card."

'We want to beat the system, but we want the system to keep playing.'

"Someday, gentlemen, I promise you - the heady days of 'Come a ti yi yippie yippie yay' will be back."

Welcome to Dysfunction Corp. "We're not a company... We're a family!"

'I guess you could say we're a 'faith-based' company. Everyone worships the dollar around here.'

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

'It's not what you know, it's WHO you know.'

"And so if the pillage numbers don't improve this quarter, I have just one word for you: waterskis."

'Miss Jones, bring me my scruples.'

Women's day - one of the chaps.

'These business meetings are like panda matings...The expectations are always high, but the results are usually disappointing.'

"Think about it, we're both very clever: If we team up, we'll be unstoppable!"

"Am I talent or product?"

Elevator buttons read Easy Come (going up) and Easy Go (going down).

'I totally get the truth and justice thing, but what's with all the drama?'

"I could be doing this from home."

"According to the most recent report, we have no recourse but to abandon ship."

'So let's look at motivation. Is 'market share' what gets you up in the morning, or is it something else?'

"Your Easter bonuses are hidden throughout corporate headquarters."

"It's challenging coming back in after working from home."

'How come we get only half-hour lunches?'

Olympic Catering: 'A small coffee please.'

'We will no longer make major decisions based upon our playing 'one potato; two potato'...'

Horse dealer trying to sell an unfit horse by suggesting that it will keep improving

"I worked my way up from a goddamn steamboat - I am the American Dream."

Darnit, I missed the train...

Always put your best foot forward - the one with the least lint between the toes.

'I didn't know 'Businessish Management' was something you could get a degree in.'

"We'd like to switch you from working under the radar to living off the grid."