Professional Snack Reviewer Gifts

Rubberman begins to question his friendshis.

Tartine

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

Rage.

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"Trail mix?"

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

Love is when you watch television together.

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

How The Sausage Is Eaten

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

Jewish Geometry

Medical Marijuana Dispensary / Medical Cheez Doodles Dispensary

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

Sheltering in place.

Back in 5 minutes!

"Goal!"

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'You do realise that's pot pourii?'

"He's an indoor cat."

How lazy people decide what to eat

A new career for George W. Bush: taster in a pretzel factory.

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"