Professional Relationships Gifts

"Hey Jefferson, just thought I'd stop by to see if you are actually sick."

I've noticed you've stopped saying 'we.'

"I appreciate imitation is the sincerest form of flattery Miss Simms, but to be quite honest, you're starting to scare me."

In the Guru District

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

Life is for the birds.

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

When Ted and Nancy would dance, it was as if they were the only couple on the floor....

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"You do like octopus?"

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

Romance

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'Oh my God. I love it!'

Right click for yes...