Professional Relationships Mugs

"Hey Jefferson, just thought I'd stop by to see if you are actually sick."

I've noticed you've stopped saying 'we.'

"I appreciate imitation is the sincerest form of flattery Miss Simms, but to be quite honest, you're starting to scare me."

In the Guru District

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

When Ted and Nancy would dance, it was as if they were the only couple on the floor....

Life is for the birds.

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

'Oh my God. I love it!'

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

Romance

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"You do like octopus?"

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

Right click for yes...

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."