Professional Paradoxist T-Shirts

"I hate my job and I'm terrified of losing it."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

The Artist

"Think outside the box but never forget who owns the box."

"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Optimist

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

Schrödinger and his cat

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

"Most people forget they've had amnesia."

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

"Oh my God, help! Is there a logician on board?!"

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

'Massive unpredictability is absolutely certain, maybe.'

'My thesis was entitled 'Tears of a Clown: Irony or Paradox?''

Two guns are pointing at each other in a peace sign.

"What kind of tomorrow is it? — I don't know, when I wake up, it's already today."

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

Desert island dweller sinks in sand.

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

Inventing Time Travel

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

Schrodinger's Cat Litter Box

"If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid."

"Experimental 'no government' zone next 200 miles—by order of Trump!"

"I'm a huge fan of your work."

"Apparently, if you understand it, you don’t understand it."

"What the?! Have you read about the Schrodinger's cat paradox? That's really twisted dude!"