Fan Of Paradoxes T-Shirts

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

'Massive unpredictability is absolutely certain, maybe.'

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

'It began as The Great American Novel...but it finally sold as an infomercial.'

Barrister asking a witness to produce burnt papers

The Meaning of Life

New Capitalism

'You're not fooling anybody but yourself.'

Decisions: Yes or No, 'Or maybe?'

"Graph A is verified by Graph B. Graph B is verified by Graph C. Graph C is verified by Graph A. So you see...it's all verified."

'The last thing he said was 'I'm going to go look up the work 'Dictionary' in the dictionary,' and then the universe kind of collapsed around him,'

"We have ways of making you say yes, but I want you to want to say yes."

Right Against Right.

Grenadiers

"Carl had the mouth of a truck driver... Sorry, Carl, I just can't make no sense from all those words comin’ out your pie hole. A truck driver with a Ph.D. in mathematical logic."

Zeno Gives Directions

Woman says treadmill reminds her of her life.

'The doctor told me to get away for a while..Where I live, in the country, it's just too quiet for me, so I've come here for a vacation.'

The City that Never Sleeps.

National Paradox Foundation: We're closed come in.

Worker is confused at the Paradox Parcel Company.

'I know one never knows, but I don't know how one knows that.'

Fastest slowest animal

'National Public Television now presents 'Monday Night Chess'!'

'Have you read about the millionaire who dresses like a hobo and gives money to those who are kind to him?'

Crackpot watches while women catfight.

'Making these snacks low-fat was great because substituting sweetener for fat made them even more addictive.'

'I'm afraid you're a hypochondriac Mr Jenkins... but luckily we have a pill for that!'

Agnostic Prophecy.

"No, yours is more useful, believe me."

"I want you to enhance long term growth while maximising short term profit. Oh, and while you're at it, turn this chunk of lead into gold."