Professional Paradoxist Pillows

"I hate my job and I'm terrified of losing it."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

The Artist

"Think outside the box but never forget who owns the box."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Optimist

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

Schrödinger and his cat

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"Oh my God, help! Is there a logician on board?!"

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

"Most people forget they've had amnesia."

'Massive unpredictability is absolutely certain, maybe.'

'My thesis was entitled 'Tears of a Clown: Irony or Paradox?''

Two guns are pointing at each other in a peace sign.

"What kind of tomorrow is it? — I don't know, when I wake up, it's already today."

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

Inventing Time Travel

"If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid."

"Apparently, if you understand it, you don’t understand it."

307 days without an accident.

Schrodinger's Cat Litter Box

"What the?! Have you read about the Schrodinger's cat paradox? That's really twisted dude!"

"Experimental 'no government' zone next 200 miles—by order of Trump!"

Schrodinger's kittens