Paradox Lovers Pillows

'Making these snacks low-fat was great because substituting sweetener for fat made them even more addictive.'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

The Artist

"Think outside the box but never forget who owns the box."

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

The Physiciatrist...

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

'Massive unpredictability is absolutely certain, maybe.'

'My thesis was entitled 'Tears of a Clown: Irony or Paradox?''

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

A psychic mows the lawn.

"Apparently, if you understand it, you don’t understand it."

The Meaning of Life

Bumper Limos

'It began as The Great American Novel...but it finally sold as an infomercial.'

"I found another great book about living with less stuff."

Palindrome school.

'You're not fooling anybody but yourself.'

Decisions: Yes or No, 'Or maybe?'

'The part of your brain you used to diagnose what is wrong with you is what is wrong with you.'

'I'm sure looking forward to relaxing when we get to the summit.'

'Applicant wacked out, suggest immediate promotion.'

'The last thing he said was 'I'm going to go look up the work 'Dictionary' in the dictionary,' and then the universe kind of collapsed around him,'

"We have ways of making you say yes, but I want you to want to say yes."

Grenadiers

"That was Albert. He was at a demonstration against global warming and now he's in the hospital with frostbite."

'You're not really into this, are you Mahoney?'

Right Against Right.

"Carl had the mouth of a truck driver... Sorry, Carl, I just can't make no sense from all those words comin’ out your pie hole. A truck driver with a Ph.D. in mathematical logic."