Professional Hunter Gifts

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 4

'Yes sir, been deer hunting for nigh on forty years. Ain't nuthin' I don't know about...say, don't I know you from somewhere?'

Pointing.

'I see it. You're supposed to get it!'

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

"So, Bob... anything you'd like to tell me about your little trip to the hunting store on Boxing Day?"

"We succumbed to your hype."

'Yes,I did bag him from a treestand.How did you guess?'

A hunter is chased by a shark and a golfer sees sharks in the sand traps.

'Fancy coming on a man hunt?'

A man shoots at a drone.

'Every weekend he's off hunting with his buddies! I never see him!!!'

'They're so big, so beautiful, so wild and free.... It seems like a shame to harm them.'

Great mouser!

'That's what I call a boomerang sale. His wife takes one look and back it comes.'

'Not only is he a good hunting dog he's a good watch dog.'

'What do you mean you can't wait for hunting season? We're only halfway thorugh fishing season!'

'Hank, I know you're new at turkey hunting, but that isn't the way you call turkeys.'

'I told you a blowgun was a bad idea!'

"You kids are lucky. When I was young, we had to roll down the windows and stick our heads out to be cool."

Some musicians discussing a new land purchase for hunting

'Alan spends a few hours a day in his hunting blind. It helps him deal with his end of hunting season withdrawal!'

Hunters in a forest.

Hunting Out of Season

'Hand me the mealy worms, Ben, they're in that container.'

"What makes you think I have buck fever?"

"You're wondering why I've called you here."

"I thought you were getting into shape for hunting season."

Hunting - Man asked to go hunting by his wife

'Bill gets so irritable when he can't go hunting that I prefer to keep him heavily sedated until deer season comes around!'

'Hang on, the analysis of the Audiospectrograph of that call indicates it's a decoy...'

"Folks say this ain't sporting, but they don't factor in the alcohol."

A Hunter on a Mechanical Horse.

'...and not only that, but air trapped between a retriever's dense coat and his body insulates him from even the most frigid water...are you listening, Ben?'