Novice Hunter Gifts

'Hank, I know you're new at turkey hunting, but that isn't the way you call turkeys.'

Skiing.

"First time pruning?"

Flyfishing for dummies.

"Is this the first time you've been fishing?"

'When I was a Scout, we had to blaze trails without sticky notes.'

Please buzz off. That's my flower!

"It's God's country, if your god wears camouflage and dips tobacco."

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

'I see it. You're supposed to get it!'

Bunny Hill

"So, Bob... anything you'd like to tell me about your little trip to the hunting store on Boxing Day?"

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 4

'AQ popgun? I want a field model Browning pump chambered for the 3-inch magnum load.'

"I'm surprised, Caswell. I thought you were a happy camper."

'Health Benefits of a Vegan Diet... How the heck did this get here?'

"This is my first book, but if I like it I may buy another in the near future."

"I packed the cooking gear like you told me, Dad...where do I plug it in?"

'Alex we talked about this, you can't bring live things home from the lake. . . no buts, they don't want to leave the lake. Let your little friends go.'

A hunter is chased by a shark and a golfer sees sharks in the sand traps.

'I take it this is your first big game hunt?!!'

'Not only is he a good hunting dog he's a good watch dog.'

'That's what I call a boomerang sale. His wife takes one look and back it comes.'

'Every weekend he's off hunting with his buddies! I never see him!!!'

'You've never actually been on a tiger hunt...have you?'

'What do you mean you can't wait for hunting season? We're only halfway thorugh fishing season!'

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

'You may well, Ms. Ferris, one day write a 'Fifty Shades of Grey' bonkbuster, but today your account is one shade of red.'

Unselfish by nature - he delights to show the novice where the big chub cruise...and where the best pike lie.

I really hope the agent likes my submission... - '' - 'This is perfect.' - '' - 'Absolutley perfect.'

Some musicians discussing a new land purchase for hunting

'Alan spends a few hours a day in his hunting blind. It helps him deal with his end of hunting season withdrawal!'

"I thought you were getting into shape for hunting season."

Hunting Out of Season

'Bill gets so irritable when he can't go hunting that I prefer to keep him heavily sedated until deer season comes around!'