Novice Hunter Gifts

'Hank, I know you're new at turkey hunting, but that isn't the way you call turkeys.'

Skiing.

"First time pruning?"

Flyfishing for dummies.

"Is this the first time you've been fishing?"

Please buzz off. That's my flower!

'When I was a Scout, we had to blaze trails without sticky notes.'

"It's God's country, if your god wears camouflage and dips tobacco."

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

'I see it. You're supposed to get it!'

Bunny Hill

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 4

"So, Bob... anything you'd like to tell me about your little trip to the hunting store on Boxing Day?"

'AQ popgun? I want a field model Browning pump chambered for the 3-inch magnum load.'

"I'm surprised, Caswell. I thought you were a happy camper."

'Health Benefits of a Vegan Diet... How the heck did this get here?'

"This is my first book, but if I like it I may buy another in the near future."

'I take it this is your first big game hunt?!!'

A hunter is chased by a shark and a golfer sees sharks in the sand traps.

'Alex we talked about this, you can't bring live things home from the lake. . . no buts, they don't want to leave the lake. Let your little friends go.'

"I packed the cooking gear like you told me, Dad...where do I plug it in?"

'Every weekend he's off hunting with his buddies! I never see him!!!'

'Not only is he a good hunting dog he's a good watch dog.'

'That's what I call a boomerang sale. His wife takes one look and back it comes.'

'You've never actually been on a tiger hunt...have you?'

'What do you mean you can't wait for hunting season? We're only halfway thorugh fishing season!'

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

'You may well, Ms. Ferris, one day write a 'Fifty Shades of Grey' bonkbuster, but today your account is one shade of red.'

Unselfish by nature - he delights to show the novice where the big chub cruise...and where the best pike lie.

I really hope the agent likes my submission... - '' - 'This is perfect.' - '' - 'Absolutley perfect.'

'Alan spends a few hours a day in his hunting blind. It helps him deal with his end of hunting season withdrawal!'

Some musicians discussing a new land purchase for hunting

'Let's face it,Edgar.you and mother nature don't have anything in common.'

You're not supposed to lob the rock!

"I thought you were getting into shape for hunting season."