New Hobby Hunter Gifts

"The kids are in college. . . what are we going to do with ourselves?"

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

The Hobby Store

"He built his own airplane from a kit."

"River well stocked this year."

"Is this the first time you've been fishing?"

'I don't know what he gets up to in there, but it keeps him busy.' (Noises are recorded, man reads paper, has beer.)

"It's God's country, if your god wears camouflage and dips tobacco."

"Our Rupert has swopped his gaming console for bagpipes...it gets us out of the house more often."

'Tommy is in the other room playing with the triangle we bought him in Bermuda.'

"Getting the hang of it?"

"Oh we're fine, my husbands just learning to cook during the quarantine."

'My first camera'

'First of all, relax.'

'Dude, you can go for that new diving gear if you want, but if you ask me, I think it's a trap.'

'I see it. You're supposed to get it!'

'Well, at least it has bubbles.'

"You do have your own way of enjoying the garden, don't you?"

Model Building

Patey's in a band! He's so cool!

"So, Bob... anything you'd like to tell me about your little trip to the hunting store on Boxing Day?"

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"

"Ooh, another unsuspecting victim."

I bake my own bread.

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

"You may not know this, but I've become quite the wine expert."

She found baking helped enormously.

A hunter is chased by a shark and a golfer sees sharks in the sand traps.

Pam collected ceramic pigs. Just one so far, but even that seemed like too many.

"Frankly, I don't really want him to improve: he scares the predators away..."

'Hello, please take care of my ship in a bottle.'

"O.K., go long, and then go about a hundred feet to your left or your right - who knows?"

'Aside from your plastic canvas projects, what else have you been doing since you retired?'

"My husband makes this wine."