Professional Communicator Pillows

Unfortunately, Lyle had already sent nasty e-mails to his boss, three vice-presidents and the CEO.

'If you're not sure of the name of a client then check it on the system, don't just shout 'Hey Fatso'.'

It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...

'Nurse, I said boil the instruments, not roast them.'

Trial by Media

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

Gay Times...

If nobody had invented graphics

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

Presidential Pooch Meets The Press

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

Local News in Heaven

"My Blackberry will get in touch with your Blackberry."

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

'...and this time Gerald, don't refer to the RBS as the Ripoff Bonus Scheme!'

"Wow. . . is that you, Mr Erdogan. . . Mr Kim Jong-un. . . Mr Putin. . . Mr Maduro. . . Mr. Bin-Salman. . . Mr al-Assad. . ."

Reporter #6: television.

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

The Freedom of the Press is Worth Fighting For!

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

Coming up: Bush and Kerry will debate on 'saturday night live'...and whoever gets the most laughs will be the winner.'

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"